How did a month go by without me writing? I was being so good about getting one post up a week and then bam! Nothing. The fact that I struggle to stay up with my goals is frustrating to say the least. It makes me want to quit. It makes me feel like I failed and that somehow that makes me a failure…in all things not just this. Isn’t that crazy how we can go from zero to 60 with those negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts, and playing the comparison game will always be a real battle for me. A battle I know I waste far too much time on and I assume a lot of you out there fighting on that same battle field. Why do we do it? Why can’t it be easier to accept us for us…in our imperfections? Would we really and truly even want to be perfect in all things? What would that even look like?
So here is the real truth. I was busy last month. Not too busy to blog but busy enough that it wasn’t on my radar or priority list. Guess what? That doesn’t mean I failed at this goal, it means I found other things that I was busy winning at and so this took a back seat.
Over this last month, I have been to over 32 Volleyball matches cheering and coaching my two girls along. I have driven kids too and from school and practice and piano lessons. I have feed my crew basically daily ( i wont lie sometimes, taco bell fed us too, I cant take all the credit. I have been to 2 soccer games. I have visited my parents. I have attended church meetings and lessons, I have held scripture study at my home for my family. I planned and took my family to Joshua Tree National park and bowling and to get ice cream. I have photographed 6 people and delivered their beautiful galleries. I have done loads and loads and loads of laundry and I’ve hiked and hiked.
If any other momma gave me a list that included even half of this stuff, I would never look at her like a failure or with any find of eye roll. So why do it to myself, to ourselves? I want to say I’m going to stop doing this but real talk, I wont, at least not anytime soon. It’s been years and years of me talking to myself like this and it will take probably my life time to retrain my brain to speak nicer and more gently to myself. However, I will make a goal to be kinder to everyone around me, including myself. I will make an attempt to encourage and compliment others on their journey because I think everyone forgets how awesome they are occasionally and could use the reminder.
Here are some moments to remind me that I didn’t fail last month because I didn’t blog, I succeeded because I lived.
