I’ve been a photographer officially since 2016 ( if i remember correctly). Next year will mark 10 years of me being in business ( watch out for some celebrating and maybe even give aways). 10 years seems like yesterday and like forever all in one. My journey might not be the same as everyone else, but incase you have had a very uphill climb with your business, you might be able to relate to this post.
10 years ago when I started, I was really naive. I wanted to provide pictures for people who couldnt afford those high priced proffesionals who charged so much money for a session. I wanted to save the world from those greedy people. I was really a saint if I do say so myself. I did lots of sessions for lots of people. I shot for families, maternity, kids, baptisms, weddings, seniors, missionaries and really anyone who would “hire” me. I was saving the world from overpriced photographers one session at a time and taking the world by storm.
Soon, I was doing several sessions a week and editing for lots of hours, scouting new locations half the week and then running to all of the other things I needed to do as a wife and mother of 8 very active kids. When I wasn’t coaching a team, dropping someone off at practice, making dinner or photographing people, I was taking online courses on photography, attending photography conferences and dreaming about upgrading my gear. I was very over worked and very over stressed but I just couldnt let it get the best of me. I even started my own fine arts gallery in the midst of it all to try to reach out to the community and bring the arts back!
In the mean time, I was really trying to keep a family together that was in the real thick of having 5 teenagers, 2 littles, and a toddler, all from our wonderful but blended family. I started to try to charge a little here and there, to make up for some of the cost of my classes or equipment or even just the gas of getting to the sessions. Guess what, people didn’t want to pay $50, or even $25 for a session. My bookings went way down. I get it, everyone likes free stuff, but I was also needing to justify this new business as something other than a hobby.
I ended up shutting the doors to the gallery. It was heartbreaking but my family needed me more. I narrowed down my scope of what sessions I wanted to take. I focused on High School Seniors and Sports ( since I was at every sporting event with my kiddos anyway). I booked a few paying clients here and there, and did a ton of favors for people so that I could keep my name out there.
After awhile I learned a few more things about me and about what was important to me as a photographer and the truth was, I was killing myself to help people that ( sadly ) mostly weren’t grateful or seemingly appreciative. I would deliver and they wanted this and that fixed, tons of photoshopping of chins or thighs. The didn’t want to tag me or share my posts but were more than happy to take all the digitals and post without credit, or head to local retailers and give them money to print my images ( at least someone was making a profit off my work right?). I got burnt out, frustrated and even angry. The more free work I did, the more I started to hate photographing people. This was one of the worst parts of my journey. I started because I wanted to help people and now, I just wanted to not work with people.
Something had to change. I knew that not only was my notion of saving the world from over priced photographers very uninformed, but actually hurting my passion for what I was doing. I was going into debt, financially, emotionally, and physically. I decided that I was going to start charging and stop working for free. I also really loved ( still do!) printed stuff. I loved a canvas on the wall, an album to look though that tells a story, a framed picture on the mantle…. I was tired of other retailers making money off of my work. I wanted busy moms like me to be able to come to me and get everything done at once instead of having to go order their grad cards from somewhere else. I wanted to be be valued because I provided value. Ahh the ideals of a dreamer!!!!
I spent a really long time researching pricing and figuring out what I would tell people when they asked what I charged for a session. I invested in brochures and business card, got a website up and running, bought lots of memberships to several different programs to be able to share images, design books, send emails…. I was for sure going to make it now. I was like a real grown up with real grown up stuff. I launched all the new stuff and thought for sure there will be a new type of client just as eager as I was to be a part of this new phase. I waited. I kept waiting. Yep still waiting. The people just weren’t coming. Don’t get me wrong, I had a couple of clients a year, the first 3 or 4 years after I started this new me. They gave me hope that it was just a matter of time.
As I waited, I started to really doubt myself. I became certain that I wasn’t booking because of my skill level. I felt like a total fake and fraud. Those days of taking photography in college started screaming back to me that I was a failure and telling me that if I couldn’t even pass a class on photography, I couldn’t be a real or successful photographer. I also kept hearing those little internal voices telling me that I was a stay at home mom and probably needed to stay that way. I didn’t need this job as an income so I should just forget it and quit spending money on something that wasn’t bringing any money in return. The guilt of spending this kind of money, hard earned by my husband, was really weighing on me. The guilt of nights spent editing, researching or studying until 4am, when I knew that would leave me short tempered the next day, was eating me alive. I needed to decide what to do.
I realized that I needed to post more. I needed to have my work seen and I needed people to know where to find me, how to reach me, and have my name come to their mind when they would think about photography. I needed to be on social media big time. At the time I had Facebook but avoided Instagram. I knew that kids didn’t use Facebook much and so I needed to get on Instagram if I wanted to reach the Seniors I wanted to take images of. So that began my rocky relationship with social media and my photography. I started posting and started seeing some interest and booking more often. I spent hours on end learning how to use it and when and what to post. I was starting to get seen but I just didn’t have enough stuff to post, at least not of High School Seniors and as you know, you have to post what you want to sell. So I started to reach out to friends and even some models to get take some pictures that I could post. It was helping but I was still doing most of my work for free ( even if it was with a purpose ). I was getting a lot more inquiries but when it came time to discussing prices or that they wouldn’t receive 100 digitals with their session, I heard crickets.
Just as I thought I was getting somewhere, I hit a wall. Maybe I really wasn’t worth what I was charging. I was seeing lots of other photographers post and fill their booking schedules up. You can probably guess what happened next in that vicious cycle…yep I stared to compare. I’m embarrassed to admit but I would look at other photographers and think, my work is way better than theirs so why are they booking and I’m not? I would get really depressed about it to be truthful. That combined with the fact that social media algorithm's were changing faster than my shutter speed on my camera, I couldn’t keep up. I stopped posting much from the business side. I started occasionally posting family or sports stuff from my kids. I stopped promoting by business and really just did what I wanted when I wanted which was mostly a favor for a friend, a bunch of travel stuff and an occasional photo challenge to keep me from selling all my camera gear and throwing in the towel.
Feeling unwanted, untalented, unappreciated, unneeded, insecure, not smart enough, unable to keep up with social media and, unsuccessful have been pretty constant through out my journey. When I looked at it like that I wanted to quit, way more often than I wanted to keep going. However, every once in awhile I would get that text from someone telling me how much they loved my photography. Before my father passed, he would express a love for my photography and man I’ll do whatever I can to keep any memories of him alive. But more than anything, I feel very strongly, even more strongly than all those prementioned feelings, that God has blessed everyone of us with gifts and talents. I believe that this is one of my gifts. I believe I am supposed to use it to bless others with it. Maybe that’s, having pictures to remember your loved ones, maybe that’s showing the world His hand in all of the beautiful places He has created around the world, maybe it’s adding income to my family, and maybe it’s just helping to open my eyes to His goodness. I haven’t quite figured that part out but I do know I don’t want to quit on something He gave me, so I keep shooting, and I will keep shooting until I feel that He is calling me to do something else.
My point is this, if you are struggling, you aren’t alone. If you are overwhelmed by technology and ever changing social media expectations, you aren’t alone. If you are feeling unseen and unheard, I get it. However, if you feel like God has given you a gift or talent….keep working on it! I may never be a super successful ( financially) photographer but I have seen some of the most beautiful places and people through my lens, and without this camera I may have missed looking for His hand in all of the places I have seen it. The images below don’t tell me the same story those negative thoughts in my head tell me. The struggle can be real but so can the blessings along the journey, you decide what story to listen to and whether to give more power to the struggle portion or the blessing parts!
